


by my side

by Iamlandfillmaterial



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst? IDK, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up, Kisses, M/M, cross posted on amino, cute I guess, im so sorry vernon, its kinda ooc because this was written a year ago and i hate myself but alright then, one sided but you don't really see it, the idea itself is kinda stupid but i just rolled with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 19:35:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20935592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamlandfillmaterial/pseuds/Iamlandfillmaterial
Summary: for the past 19 years, seungkwan's always been the one by vernon's side.





	by my side

Crisp leaves, cool weather and the cozy aroma was what made Autumn Seungkwan’s favourite season.

He loved the way the colourful leaves that were once green would swirl above his head, drifting through the wind before landing before his feet like red snowflakes. He loved the way the leaves would crunch beneath his feet with every step he took as he walked across the ground littered with the red and yellow confetti. He loved snuggling into his warm jumpers as the cool wind gently swept across his face every time he stepped out of the house.

**5 years old:**

“Vernonie, come on, let’s go play outside!”

Whined the rosy cheeked boy, tugging his best friend’s hand. The leaves floating down from high above could be seen from the window and it took everything within Seungkwan to not run outside without his best friend.

Turning towards the hazel haired boy, he pouted, screwing up his face in displeasure. Vernon didn’t like Autumn to say the least. The weather was too dry, it was neither hot nor cold, and the way the leaves would always fall away from the trees made him sad. His little 6 year old mind didn’t know why he would feel this way, maybe it was the idea that the leaves would leaves would leave the trees bare and naked. He rolled his eyes at his best friend who was a little too enthusiastic at times like this and shook his head, refusing to leave the warmth of his home.

“No I don’t wanna, I don’t like it outside”

Vernon mumbled, shifting his arm out of the older’s grasp before turning back towards his video game. It wasn’t long before he felt warm encircle his waist as his best friend wrapped his arms around him, proceeding to drag him out of his living room and to the front door. Without loosening his grip on Vernon, Seungkwan flung the door open, allowing a cool gust of wind to hit both boys. Watching his best friend stare beyond the doorway longingly, Vernon grumbled in compliance before following his best friend out into the Autumn scene.

”My lips are so dry now, let’s go back inside”

Vernon continued to complain as he trailed behind his best friend who was happily stomping on the fallen leaves, leaving a trail of crunching sounds behind him. His plump cheeks dusted with a flush of happiness and his cheekbones lifting up as he smiled without even noticing it. At the sound of Vernon’s words, he stilled, before turning back and walking towards his sulking best friend. Despite his best friend’s complaints, he beamed, reaching his arms out to pull Vernon closer. Only to plant a small kiss on his friend’s lips, leaving him dumbfounded.

“There, your lips aren’t dry anymore”

He giggled as he stepped back, watching his best friends eyes grow into saucers. “But..but.., mommy said you only kiss people when you love them”

Vernon splutters, his face flushing bright red as he stares at his best friend.

“Well, I love you Vernon, we’re best friends aren’t we?”

”but... you’re only supposed to kiss girls. I’ve only ever seen my dad kiss my mom”

Vernon cocked his head in confusion, blinking up innocently at his companion.

Seungkwan’s smile never wavered as he took Vernon’s hand in his, and pulled him along behind him.

“ok, then let’s pretend this is practice before we actually kiss a girl" 

Seungkwan giggled again absentmindedly, leading Vernon down the path where only the crisp crunching of leaves behind the boys’ feet could be heard.

maybe autumn wasn’t so bad after all.

**9 years old:**

And for every year after that, Vernon would get a peck on the lips from Seungkwan as a price for dragging him outside into the Autumn air. Vernon never stopped complaining, but he never resisted either. It was unspoken that this kiss was between only best friends, and two never spoke about it.

“Aishh, I wish winter would come sooner, at least this way we’d have snow”

Vernon muttered as he trudged alongside his best friend. Seungkwan’s eyes wandered above him, looking at the trees tops that towered above his 9 year old self. He watched intently at the leaves that broke away from the tree branches and fell from high above, looking for that exact moment it happened.

“But I love this weather”

He answered absentmindedly, still absorbed in the Autumn atmosphere as his eyes followed the trail of leaves that floated towards him.

Vernon grunted in response. He no longer despised the Autumn weather, he just did not prefer it. Seeing his best friend’s excitement always made up for it, it made him feel bubbly and happy, so if Autumn was spent with Seungkwan, then it was alright.

“Here’s something to cheer you up and make your lips less dry”

Seungkwan stopped suddenly pulled Vernon to a stop with him. Smiling down towards the younger, he gave his best friend a quick peck on the lips before continuing on his way home, leaving Vernon with a stomach of unexplainable butterflies.

**13 years old:**

It wasn’t just the magical way the leaves would swirl and the perfect weather that made Seungkwan love Autumn, it was also the hot chocolates and the cozy atmosphere whenever he was inside. 

A rush of warm air hit his face and Seungkwan stepped into his house as Vernon closed the door behind them, encasing them in a blanket of warm air. He dragged his cream coloured jumper off as he made his way towards his kitchen. It was unspoken that everyday as soon as they came home from school to study at Seungkwan’s house, Seungkwan would make hot chocolate for the both of them. Vernon settled himself onto the coach, snuggling into Seungkwan’s discarded jumper as he listened to the clinking of glass mugs of Seungkwan busying himself in the kitchen. The sweet smell of chocolate soon filled the room and Vernon’s eyes couldn’t help but light up at the familiar and comforting scent. His best friend appeared at the doorway, holding two mugs filled to the brim with steaming hot chocolate and topped with whipped cream. The sweet scent of chocolate wafted up into the air as the steam formed wisps above each mug. He carefully made his way towards Vernon, setting the mugs on the coffee table before him and sat down next to his best friend who was already eagerly leaning towards his mug. He abruptly grabbed onto Vernon’s arm, stopping him mid action, before leaning over to lazily plant a kiss on his lips.

“Your lips were dry”

He whispered with a small smile forming on his lips, as he reached over and brought his own mug of hot chocolate to his lips. The hot liquid caused warmth to pool in his stomach and it tasted oh so sweet. But in Vernon’s opinion, Seungkwan’s lips tasted sweeter.

**17 years old:**

It was the year they were both applying for universities, frantically filling out forms, writing essays, taking tests. This year, neither had time for the Autumn that passed outside their window in a blur or red, orange and gold. The leaves drifted down from the trees and laid on the sidewalk, children as small as they once were ran about the streets, laughing and playing as they once did. But this time, no one noticed how the leaves left the trees and how the trees stood lone and bare while the ground beneath them filled with colour as Vernon and Seungkwan once did.

Vernon scratched his head in frustration, screwing up his face in concentration as his typed away on his laptop, filling his screen with words for his college essay. Large eye bags adorned his face, a reminder that he had slept maybe eight hours in the past week, probably less. Growling in frustration, he spun his chair away from the desk towards the other end of the room and looked at the boy that sat on his bed typing away on his own laptop.

“Seungkwan, let’s go for a walk outside”

His best friend looked up in surprise. Vernon never suggested going outside, let alone leaving the house in such weather. What a rare occasion that he could not possibly refuse. He smiled softly, before lifting himself off his bed and following his companion down the stairs and out of the house. The crisp Autumn air was still Seungkwan’s favourite, and although he didn’t have the luxury of time to enjoy it anymore, he stilled longed to play among the fallen leaves as he used to as a child. The crisp air still sent goosebumps running along Vernon’s arms, but as long as Seungkwan was by his side, he felt warm inside. The way his lips would dry and the way the leaves would leave no longer bothered him, but his yearly kisses were always welcome.

“Vernon ah, thank you for spending Autumn by my side although you hate it”

Seungkwan smiles at the boy who was no longer a boy beside him. Vernon stills and turns towards Seungkwan, as if already waiting for something to happen. The former had grown much taller over the years while the latter now had to look up towards him. Seungkwan knew what his best friend expected, and tip toed to reach Vernon’s lips with his. For what seemed like a mere yearly tradition set off fireworks in Vernon’s stomach, speeding up his heart into a sprint, and for the first time in years, he didn’t know what to do in the presence of his best friend.

**19 years old:**

Vernon loved Seungkwan, there was no doubt about it now. Maybe even during that first kiss when he had told Seungkwan that only people would loved each other kissed, his 5 year old self was trying to say something. This year the leaves were especially bright as they covered the ground, leaving behind a natural carpet full of colour. Vernon’s heart fluttered every time he thought of Seungkwan, and his heart raced every year at Autumn as he awaited his kiss.

This year was different, he didn’t have to wait for his kiss anymore, he would never have to wait for his kiss anymore.

That was because he knew it would never come.

Seungkwan was kissing another’s lips, wrapping his warm arms around another’s waist, making them the hot chocolate and leading them by the hand through places he once led Vernon through. He had found a girl. She was gorgeous, sweet and… she was loved by Seungkwan, something Vernon knew he couldn’t ever be. He spent every breathing moment with her, as if afraid of losing her, no doubt spending this very moment with her as well. It had been a month since Vernon had last seen him, where they parted ways at the train station as they usually did, only this time they never met the next day again. It had still been summer when Vernon last saw Seungkwan, and by now the seasons had since changed.

Vernon stood in his doorway alone, running his hand on the wooden doorway. This was the exact spot where Seungkwan pulled him out when they were 5, just moments before the first time he had felt his best friend’s soft lips on his own. He had watched the leaves turn gold and red, he had watched them fall, he had made himself hot chocolate, but all without anyone by his side. His lips felt dry and cracked despite the layer of lip balm he had applied just moments before. No longer was Seungkwan there to kiss them, no longer was Seungkwan there to drag him through the streets that were filled with colour, no longer was he there to accompany Vernon, to complete Vernon. He didn’t watch the beautiful leaves that fluttered above him, and instead stared blankly at the trees that stood without its leaves, looking very much bare and alone, devoid of colour or life.

_So this was why Autumn made him sad, because the leaves would always leave the tree behind, and those who we loved would always leave us behind._

_And at that moment, he took it back, Autumn was as bad as he first thought it to be._

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this over a year ago and i hate it so much, but a friend encouraged me to post this so here you go.  
please be gentle with me, i know the idea's kinda stupid but just ignore that cuz theyre kinda cute.  
this is my first (and last one since then) fic so please be gentle dfjghldgdg
> 
> stream fear okay bye x


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